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The Onion America’s Finest News Source
- Tesla Employees Scramble To Make Office Look Like They’ve Been Sleeping Thereby The Onion Staff on May 29, 2025 at 7:16 pm
AUSTIN, TX—In an effort to give the impression that they had been burning the midnight oil while CEO Elon Musk was away in Washington, D.C., employees at Tesla reportedly scrambled Thursday to make the office look like they’d been sleeping there. “Elon’s going to be back any minute, so make sure to throw some dirty The post Tesla Employees Scramble To Make Office Look Like They’ve Been Sleeping There appeared first on The Onion.
- Crypto Investor Tortures Man In Attempt To Steal Bitcoin Passwordby The Onion Staff on May 29, 2025 at 6:48 pm
A 37-year-old cryptocurrency investor was charged with kidnapping a man and beating, shocking and torturing him for weeks inside a luxury townhouse in downtown Manhattan, all in a scheme to get the man’s Bitcoin password. What do you think? The post Crypto Investor Tortures Man In Attempt To Steal Bitcoin Password appeared first on The Onion.
- Trump Pardons Tom Sandovalby The Onion Staff on May 29, 2025 at 6:19 pm
WASHINGTON—As part of a flurry of legal actions in recent days that granted clemency to more than 25 people, President Donald Trump reportedly pardoned disgraced Bravo TV star Tom Sandoval this week. “Thanks to President Trump, Tom Sandoval will finally be indemnified against all the toxic Vanderpump Rules drama,” said publicist Brittany Trumble, adding that the The post Trump Pardons Tom Sandoval appeared first on The Onion.
- Timeline Of Trump’s Battle With Harvardby The Onion Staff on May 29, 2025 at 3:11 pm
President Donald Trump has frozen more than $3 billion in grants and contracts as his feud with Harvard University continues to escalate. The Onion shares a timeline of the dispute’s key dates so far. January 29: Trump administration accuses the Harvard Law Review of promoting violent pro-law rhetoric. February 3: The Justice Department announces the The post Timeline Of Trump’s Battle With Harvard appeared first on The Onion.
- Tariff-Strained Apple Announces 7,083-Piece iPhone Kitby The Onion Staff on May 29, 2025 at 1:00 pm
CUPERTINO, CA—Amidst the strain of tariffs, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced Thursday the launch of a new 7,083-piece iPhone kit. “Apple customers will have a blast soldering, polishing, and drilling as they build their very own iPhone,” Cook said in a Keynote presentation at Apple headquarters, touting the new product as an innovative, first-of-its-kind achievement The post Tariff-Strained Apple Announces 7,083-Piece iPhone Kit appeared first on The Onion.
Breitbart News HomePage
- Carney: Trump Admin Prepared to Impose Tariffs by Other Means if Blocked by Judgesby Breitbart TV on May 30, 2025 at 1:05 am
On Thursday’s “Alex Marlow Show,” Breitbart News economics editor John Carney talked about the latest court rulings on tariffs. Carney stated that the Trump administration knew it was taking a “novel approach” that would run into court challenges and there The post Carney: Trump Admin Prepared to Impose Tariffs by Other Means if Blocked by Judges appeared first on Breitbart.
- Chinese-Owned Company Fights Bill Banning Foreign Enemies from Buying Property in Ohioby Warner Todd Huston on May 30, 2025 at 12:49 am
Fuyao Glass is working behind the scenes to oppose a bill that would ban foreign enemies from buying land and operating businesses in Ohio. The post Chinese-Owned Company Fights Bill Banning Foreign Enemies from Buying Property in Ohio appeared first on Breitbart.
- 'Tidal Wave' of Debt to China About to Hit World's Poorest Nationsby John Hayward on May 30, 2025 at 12:45 am
The Lowy Institute, a think tank based in Australia, published a report this week that warned developing nations are “grappling with a tidal wave of debt repayments and interest costs owed to China.” The post ‘Tidal Wave’ of Debt to China About to Hit World’s Poorest Nations appeared first on Breitbart.
- Exclusive -- Ric Grenell Blasts California Democrats for Failing to Protect Fire Victimsby Joel B. Pollak on May 30, 2025 at 12:05 am
Special Envoy Ric Grenell blasted the California state legislature on Thursday for failing to pass a bill to protect fire victims from the higher property taxes they will face simply for complying with new fire codes. The post Exclusive — Ric Grenell Blasts California Democrats for Failing to Protect Fire Victims appeared first on Breitbart.
- Breibart Business Digest: A Judicial Roadblock—But Not the End of Trump’s Tariff Powerby John Carney on May 29, 2025 at 11:40 pm
The legal battlefield is shifting, but Trump’s tariff agenda is very much alive. The next phase may be slower and more contested, but don’t mistake litigation for surrender. The post Breibart Business Digest: A Judicial Roadblock—But Not the End of Trump’s Tariff Power appeared first on Breitbart.
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