Variety News Page

The Onion America’s Finest News Source

  • ABC Pays $15 Million To Settle Trump Defamation Suit
    by The Onion Staff on December 17, 2024 at 8:28 pm

    ABC News agreed to pay $15 million toward Donald Trump’s presidential library to settle a defamation lawsuit over anchor George Stephanopoulos’ inaccurate on-air assertion that the president-elect had been found civilly liable for raping writer E. Jean Carroll. What do you think? The post ABC Pays $15 Million To Settle Trump Defamation Suit appeared first on The Onion.

  • Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas
    by The Onion Staff on December 17, 2024 at 6:08 pm

    The post Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas appeared first on The Onion.

  • God Locks Heavenly Gates After Spotting Mormon Missionaries Milling Around Outside
    by The Onion Staff on December 17, 2024 at 4:28 pm

    THE HEAVENS—Groaning to Himself as the professionally dressed evangelists rounded the corner, the Lord God Almighty reportedly locked the gates of heaven Tuesday after spotting Mormon missionaries milling around outside. “Maybe if we turn off all the lights and pretend no one’s here we can get rid of them,” said the Creator of the Universe, The post God Locks Heavenly Gates After Spotting Mormon Missionaries Milling Around Outside appeared first on The Onion.

  • FEMA Administrator Resigns After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System
    by The Onion Staff on December 17, 2024 at 1:00 pm

    WASHINGTON—Apologizing for the terrifying series of events that left shocked, confused, and disgusted citizens screaming, crying, and searching for cover, Federal Emergency Management Agency administrator Daniel Gilroy announced his resignation Tuesday after accidentally playing porn on the nation’s Emergency Alert System. “This morning at 11:21 a.m. EDT, I opened up a pornographic video on my laptop, The post FEMA Administrator Resigns After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System appeared first on The Onion.

  • ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
    by The Onion Staff on December 16, 2024 at 9:41 pm

    MADISON, WI—In the hours following a violent rampage in Wisconsin in which a lone attacker killed at least two individuals and injured six others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Monday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was The post ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens appeared first on The Onion.

Breitbart News HomePage

ArticleIFY Enlight Your Creative World

  • How To Maximise Interactions with Engaging Corporate Videos?
    by Articleify Desk on November 29, 2024 at 8:43 am

    ArticleIFY How To Maximise Interactions with Engaging Corporate Videos? Most modern businesses now rely on video as a medium to reach out to their audiences. It is a potent promotional option for generating measurable brand awareness, engagement, and conversions. The demand for bespoke and result-driven video production services has gone through the roof in recent years. Numerous emerging businesses are revamping their marketing strategies How To Maximise Interactions with Engaging Corporate Videos? Articleify Desk

  • Raw Organic Hemp vs Traditional Rolling Papers: What’s the Difference?
    by Articleify Desk on November 9, 2024 at 10:19 am

    ArticleIFY Raw Organic Hemp vs Traditional Rolling Papers: What’s the Difference? In recent years, the smoking community has seen a significant shift toward more natural and eco-friendly alternatives. Among these, raw organic hemp papers have emerged as a popular choice over traditional rolling papers. But what exactly sets these two types of papers apart? Let’s explore the differences in terms of health, environmental impact, convenience, and Raw Organic Hemp vs Traditional Rolling Papers: What’s the Difference? Articleify Desk

  • Comparing the Eigiis KE3 Smart Military Watch and Samsung Galaxy Watch 6 GPS: Which is Better for Your Fitness Goals?
    by Articleify Desk on November 5, 2024 at 1:25 pm

    ArticleIFY Comparing the Eigiis KE3 Smart Military Watch and Samsung Galaxy Watch 6 GPS: Which is Better for Your Fitness Goals? When it comes to fitness tracking, smartwatches have revolutionized how we monitor health, track performance, and stay motivated. Two popular options for fitness lovers are the Eigiis KE3 Smart Military Watch and the Samsung Galaxy Watch 6 GPS. Each of these smartwatches offers distinct features tailored to different types of users, from rugged adventurers to Comparing the Eigiis KE3 Smart Military Watch and Samsung Galaxy Watch 6 GPS: Which is Better for Your Fitness Goals? Articleify Desk

  • Essential Steps for Effective Water Restoration: The Ultimate Guide
    by News Desk on October 29, 2024 at 3:34 pm

    ArticleIFY Essential Steps for Effective Water Restoration: The Ultimate Guide   Key Takeaways: Water damage can silently escalate, causing severe structural harm and health risks if not addressed early. Types of water damage: clean (low threat), grey (moderate contamination), and black (highly contaminated). Early detection of water damage signs is crucial; look for water stains, musty odors, and warped surfaces. The initial assessment by professionals Essential Steps for Effective Water Restoration: The Ultimate Guide News Desk

  • Mastering the Art of Janitorial Services: A Comprehensive Guide to Creating a Clean and Inviting Environment
    by Articleify Desk on October 4, 2024 at 1:54 pm

    ArticleIFY Mastering the Art of Janitorial Services: A Comprehensive Guide to Creating a Clean and Inviting Environment Key Takeaways: Maintaining a clean and sanitized environment reduces the risk of infections and promotes a healthier workplace. A clean and well-maintained workspace improves employee productivity and morale. A clean and well-maintained environment creates a positive first impression on visitors and potential customers. High-quality cleaning products, advanced cleaning equipment, and essential safety gear are necessary Mastering the Art of Janitorial Services: A Comprehensive Guide to Creating a Clean and Inviting Environment Articleify Desk