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  • Cardinal Passed Over For Pope Devoted Life To God For Nothing
    by The Onion Staff on May 9, 2025 at 1:00 pm

    VATICAN CITY—Angrily stomping on his vestments and throwing his zucchetto on the ground, Cardinal Pietro Parolin told reporters Friday that being passed over for pope meant he had devoted his life to God for absolutely nothing. “Five goddamn decades of faith, dedication, and service in the name of our Lord and Savior, and this is The post Cardinal Passed Over For Pope Devoted Life To God For Nothing appeared first on The Onion.

  • Dad Impressed By How Easily New Lawn Mower Tore Through Son’s Leg
    by The Onion Staff on May 9, 2025 at 1:00 pm

    DANBURY, CT—Expressing immense satisfaction with the recently purchased device’s performance, area dad Frank Hoyer confirmed Friday that he was impressed by how easily a new lawn mower tore through his son Alan’s leg. “Look at this thing go—didn’t even hiccup gliding through all that tibia!” Hoyer said as he wiped a streak of blood from The post Dad Impressed By How Easily New Lawn Mower Tore Through Son’s Leg appeared first on The Onion.

  • 2nd Grader Orders 70,000 Lollipops On Amazon
    by The Onion Staff on May 8, 2025 at 8:45 pm

    A Kentucky mom is speaking out after her 8-year-old son unknowingly ordered 30 boxes of Dum-Dums lollipops on Amazon, racking up a $4,200 charge. What do you think? The post 2nd Grader Orders 70,000 Lollipops On Amazon appeared first on The Onion.

  • Conclave Selects First Chicago-Style Pope
    by The Onion Staff on May 8, 2025 at 8:16 pm

    The post Conclave Selects First Chicago-Style Pope appeared first on The Onion.

  • God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle
    by The Onion Staff on May 8, 2025 at 7:23 pm

    THE HEAVENS—Cursing aloud the moment news of Leo XIV’s election arrived on His phone screen, the Lord Almighty told reporters this week He had lost $400 betting on Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle to become pope. “Oh, son of a bitch, that pretty much cleans out My savings,” said the visibly frustrated deity, groaning that He The post God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle appeared first on The Onion.

Breitbart News HomePage

  • Cubs or White Sox? Where do Pope Leo XIV's Chicago Baseball Allegiances Lie?
    by Dylan Gwinn on May 9, 2025 at 4:43 am

    The Chicago Cubs launched a preemptive strike on Thursday, claiming that Chicago-native and newly elected Pope Leo XIV is a Cubs fan. The post Cubs or White Sox? Where do Pope Leo XIV’s Chicago Baseball Allegiances Lie? appeared first on Breitbart.

  • Rand Paul: 'Refundable Tax Credits Are Just Welfare'
    by Jeff Poor on May 9, 2025 at 4:27 am

    On Thursday on FBN's "Mornings with Maria," Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) laid out ways illegal immigrants could exploit so-called refundable tax credits. The post Rand Paul: ‘Refundable Tax Credits Are Just Welfare’ appeared first on Breitbart.

  • Vance: 'Rich' for Biden to Comment on Anything Trump Admin Doing on Russia, Ukraine
    by Jeff Poor on May 9, 2025 at 4:02 am

    Thursday on FNC's "The Story," Vice President JD Vance dismissed former President Joe Biden's criticism regarding the Oval Office dustup between him, President Donald Trump, and Ukrainian Volodymyr Zelensky. The post Vance: ‘Rich’ for Biden to Comment on Anything Trump Admin Doing on Russia, Ukraine appeared first on Breitbart.

  • Letitia James: 'We Were Ready on Day One' to File Lawsuits Against Trump
    by Pam Key on May 9, 2025 at 3:46 am

    New York Attorney General Letitia James said Thursday on MSNBC's "The Briefing" that her office was "ready on day one" to sue President Donald Trump. The post Letitia James: ‘We Were Ready on Day One’ to File Lawsuits Against Trump appeared first on Breitbart.

  • Migrant Family Drives Selves into ICE Deportation
    by Neil Munro on May 9, 2025 at 3:43 am

    ICE officials detained an illegal migrant in Georgia after she was caught violating multiple driving laws -- but she is a good-looking college student with an illegal migrant family, so she is getting extra doses of media sympathy. The post Migrant Family Drives Selves into ICE Deportation appeared first on Breitbart.

ArticleIFY Enlight Your Creative World

  • Your Essential Guide to Understanding Arrest Warrants
    by Articleify Desk on May 9, 2025 at 5:25 am

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  • Why Public Transit Accidents Are Uniquely a New York Issue?
    by Articleify Desk on April 15, 2025 at 10:48 am

    ArticleIFY Why Public Transit Accidents Are Uniquely a New York Issue? From the elevated 7 train snaking through Jackson Heights to the bustling Jamaica transit hub connecting subways, buses, and the Long Island Rail Road, Queens residents rely heavily on public transit to navigate daily life. But with this constant movement comes a higher risk of accidents—and when they happen, the legal aftermath is far more Why Public Transit Accidents Are Uniquely a New York Issue? Articleify Desk

  • 6 Advantages of Choosing Metal Roofing for Your Home
    by Articleify Desk on March 14, 2025 at 11:34 am

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  • 4 Expert Benefits of Installing a Bathroom Fan-Heater-Light Combo
    by Articleify Desk on March 14, 2025 at 11:32 am

    ArticleIFY 4 Expert Benefits of Installing a Bathroom Fan-Heater-Light Combo Bathrooms are well known for not having enough ventilation and light. This is often among the top reasons why homeowners opt for bathroom renovations. Unfortunately, these can be costly and may involve extensive restructuring if you want to add windows and additional light fittings. The good news is that there is an economical solution to 4 Expert Benefits of Installing a Bathroom Fan-Heater-Light Combo Articleify Desk