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The Onion America's Finest News Source.

  • Boy Scouts Of America Changes Name To Scouting America
    on May 8, 2024 at 5:57 pm

    Boy Scouts of America announced that it is changing its name to Scouting America in an effort to be more inclusive, with the organization’s president Roger A. Krone saying, “This will be a simple but very important evolution as we seek to ensure that everyone feels welcome in Scouting.” What do you think?Read more...

  • Trump vs. Biden On Free Speech
    on May 8, 2024 at 5:38 pm

    While Democrats position themselves as supporters of the First Amendment, many believe the government’s reaction to public protests looked no different under Joe Biden than it did under Donald Trump. The Onion presents an in-depth examination of how free speech has been viewed by both administrations.Read more...

  • Trump Helps Pay Legal Bills With New Gig As CNN Contributor
    on May 8, 2024 at 10:45 am

    NEW YORK—Earning $2,200 per appearance, former president Donald Trump has begun paying his legal bills with a new gig as a CNN contributor, sources confirmed Wednesday. “We are pleased to welcome Donald Trump to CNN’s talented roster of experts and insiders,” CNN chairman and CEO Mark Thompson said of the former…Read more...

  • Bernie Sanders To Seek Reelection
    on May 8, 2024 at 10:30 am

    Shaking off rumors of his retirement, 82-year-old Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-VT) declared his plans to seek reelection, saying in his announcement video that the 2024 election “is the most consequential election in our lifetimes.”Read more...

  • Family Can’t Even Be Mad At Dad After Seeing Heartbreaking Attempts At Cheating
    on May 8, 2024 at 10:15 am

    EVANSVILLE, IN—After finding several messages the father of three had sent to women online, members of the local Branson family admitted Wednesday that they couldn’t even be mad at their dad after seeing his heartbreaking attempts at cheating. “I know I should be upset, but it’s hard to feel anything other than pity…Read more...

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